Not such a bad day today

not much to say...not such a bad day no gripes no complaints just read an article that could possibly help me understand me a bit, Hopefully so! I don't know! I guess I'll be ok!!!

Missed again

today not such a bad day! Meaning Saturday! Bored as heck..no ups no downs...just blahhhs

Friday NIght Saturday Morning

Today was a good day I guess that's until I started looking at pics on facebook of other peoples happiness that blows but it is what it is!

Pretty Good Day Today

So this is two in a row, today was pretty good, not much going on. Went out and about with Mom and B and then went for a walk in the hot of the day! That was absolutely a bad idea LOL, but we went and did 1 mile. took J to football and now I'm back home trying to decide weather or not to tell an old friend why I do or don't want to be a friend with her. I still haven't decided which way to go! Ahh well I made it tonigh! WOOHOO!!

AHH I missed Wednsday it's 12:57am though on Thursday

Today was a good day went to williamsburg with the family, Pop got Babe some sneakers, some that she really likes, we went to eat at Golden Coral, went over to J's house and had a wonderful time. Things were good and I loved it! YEA!!! Today Not so Bad. Had a little talk with mom too I guess we have some type of understanding! She was crying a little I don't like when she crys! I guess we'll talk more tomorrow I like talking to her you know! Maybe I should try it more often and then I won't feel like I have to hide so much! LOL. Well That's it for Wednsday! A nice day "let's make tomorrow the same"

Broken Hearted

Good Morning Tuesday!

So My goal is to make today as good as possible! I will try and strive to stay away from illconsuming thoughts and move forward with my life instead of dwelling on my past!
We'll see how it works out round 10 tonight!








Later tonight....



Didn't work out so good 9:12 pm and I'm feeling a bit down...I need a fuggin job asap! I need a lot asap...I'll get it I suppose! Geez it's getting to me!!

Here I am Today

Not such a bad Monday, went to the hair dresser with the little babe and then to the doctor for me, today wasn't a bad day! So far So good!

AHH Man I missed Sundays Post but It's 320 Monday morning

So I guess I'm not doing so well on my goal, but as soon as I remember I blog on here. Today was not a good day at all, I'm having a lot of insecure issues as of late, and I don't know where they're coming from. My horoscope really has been spooking me out to , because it basically said that I would have those and I have been, I hope tomorrow is better. Babe's got a hair appointment in the morning and I have a doctors appoint in the afternoon, Babe had a good weekend her and her friend went shopping and acted like big girls! So I guess she enjoyed herself. I know she liked being a big girl and I know she liked hanging out with her friend. I tried ot buy her clothes that she would like and I hope I did ok! She said I did, so if I can scrounge up some more money from somewhere then I will definitely get her a few more outfits and jeans, she should be fresh to death to go back to school. And you know what when she's happy it makes me happy now if I could just fix all the wrong with me, I'd be ok, but it is what it is! I love that kid. She keeps me going, and she's pretty sweet to!!!!

So Far So Good Saturday

Well this EARLY morning didn't start off to good but now it's ok! I guess! I don't know! Though!

Not So Bad Of A Day

Today isn't such a bad day! That's all I have to say!

I had a good cry and a prayer and everything was ok...

I had a good cry and a good prayer and I was looking for some guidance and leadence LOL that ain't a word! LOL and i received it amen...DEAR LORD PLEASE HELP TO STAY FOCUSED AND ON TRACK! AMEN

Just Starting To Think

That I must have something in me that is like an automatic mess up button, because as I think over the opportunities that I've had, and the things that I've done to sabotage myself, I have no choice but to feel like There is something wrong with me that is making just mess up when the going get's good and try to crawl back all to mess up again when the going get's tough. IM PISSED ME ME GEEZUS FIX ME HURRY CAUSE I CAN'T KEEP ON LIKE THIS IT'S TO MUCH!! HELP ME LORD NOW!

STARTING OFF PRETTY PISSY

Well so far today...my thoughts haven't been the best. I'd like to know what makes the achievers and the doers acheivers and doers and what makes me me. I'm a motivated slacker! Imagine such a concept, my thoughts are high, but my actions are low, and the ironic or crazy (which ever you choose) is that I'm smart/aware enough to know that my situation(s) suck I just don't have the wisdom to change them. GOD HELP ME PLEASE!! AMEN!

I missed yesterday .....

AHH I'm jiving around but this is for yesterdays post. it's just 1215am I only missed by 15 minutes! Ahh I pissed, but I'll be JIVE alright what the heck does jive alright mean?

just doing what I said

I really don't feel like typing much today! So I'm just following through with my goal.

I feel alright! LOL

I did two miles today and I feel accomplished and motivated...evening a little better than the morning! WTG MEE WOOHOO

SEMI GOOD MONDAY

Today has been ok...had a doctors appointment today and it went as expected! No good news, but no bad news either. A little while ago I had a set back with my BF but it is what it is!

Broken Hearted (Still)

Consistency!

So when I started to blog my life one day at a time I set out with the mind frame of never giving up and blogging each day until I'm 100% to where I want to be...so this blog will be about that. I must achieve this goal, because I need to feel acheived and hopefully in a year when I'm looking back at this, I'll see the progress that I've made and will be continuing to make!

Today was a good day! Not to much going on...typical sunday, didn't step a foot out the house, I didn't watch church this morning though! Yipes I better read the bible tonight! Amen!
I haven't taken my meds in two days and I really need to get on that!

TAKE MEDS 2moro!

Saturday Sadness

In a very harsh reality earlier this morning, I finally saw that my mom may never get her image of what or who I am out of her head, and suddenly I stopped trying to please her or prove that she was wrong about me, because the more I tried to prove her wrong, the more she ended up being right. Sucks

-VERY BROKEN HEARTED TODAY!

OK

Today so far so good, a little pissed that J said he was going to take long, because that guy is really sending me into the fits, he really should propose already or at least motivate his ass to do something else, because honestly if one more friend of mine get's married or ex friend that I never thought would get married get's married and I'm still in this same position...I'm going to leave his black ass and be alone at least I'll have a legitimate reason for not being married. He's pissing me off stinky little bastard!

Broken Hearted

Braiding Hair and Ants!

I braided J's hair today and I gotta say I hate the leather furniture in his house and the dog(s) walking around...seriously I hate animals inside the house! Also WTH why are ants coming into my house! I'm sleepy I'm going to eat chocolate chip ring cookies and then go to bed...I'm probably going to have something to drink as well and watch the episode of Atlanta housewives that I missed!

-Broken Hearted

On My way!

So I'm realizing that the only thing that really matters is what I think! Also I feel very hopefully about P.S. I feel like this is my thing, it's the thing that I need to get me started and to motivate the heck out of me because I won't just be changing my life, I'll be changing lives of others as well...well at least helping! I don't feel so down today, but I do feel like I could've been a little more motivated to do other things to do, I haven't quite broken my slacker mode!

Brighter Much?

Today was a little better...good interview with a wonderful company! Today was pretty good and hopefully I won't get down to yesterday's thoughts anymore, I realized that I was adding stress in my life that I didn't needed so I deleted it...literally deleted a few people from my facebook account and didn't except a few friends, but it was all good! So Here's being the best me I can be...GEEZUS grant me guidance and stability!

So Far Downhill that I'm in the center of the earth!

So today went from Good To Bad in a click of a facebook account. I signed up to much dismay to see if one good friend that I had in high school was on there. She was and then I saw so many different people on there some of which whom are married and in these extroidinary places in their lives and her I sit. What that hell happened?

Broken Hearted A TON

Riding To Panera!

So on my way to Panera Bread this morning something just hit me and I thought that maybe this year of downtime was for me to stake advantage of and finish something of the things I should've been finishing or finished 5 years ago, but I quickly realize that I blew that too. I tried to rationalize my way out of it and try to say that that couldn't have been it because I would've done it! Clues and and fooling myself again I suppose. Boy yet another mess up. I'm still Lost for now.


Broken Hearted

Wasted Time

So today Me and Mr. Find Me Soon talked a while and the conversation was pretty sweet we were talking about college and sports etc.., and it made me realize how much time I've wasted planning or wishfully thinking and about how much time I could've used doing. I just lack the something that I need...geez I guess today isn't the day I'm going to find me either! LOST IN TRANSITION !!! Found in neverland and Not MJ's House..although that wouldn't have been bad either :)


Broken Hearted

What A Walk

I walked a mile 14 minutes...I thought that was accomplishment for the day! Horray for me!

Here I go...Today

So today, I talked to a good friend from High School today and she pretty much made me excited about going to my reunion, but I feel like I have a lot of work to do before I go...Maybe loose the weight, maybe getting a little healthier, maybe fix myself as much as I can before November...well we'll see I hope. Love Me

Broken Hearted!

Tired Of Being Broke...Literally!

What The Heck, I really hate not having any money, but more importantly I hate just being broken way down. It's been a year now and I suppose I deserve to suffer (if I should call it that) in the manner that I have, I keep myself going, by saying I'm suppose to learn a lesson from all of this. I thought I knew most of the lessons. For the most part I'm a good person, but then I have to reevaluate and say that I'm a fun person who wants to be a good person, but I'm just so far on the otherside that being a good person seems like such a stretch. I don't kill people, I have never hurt or harm another soul besides my own, I don't do drugs, I don't drink, I don't commit most crimes, I have stolen before of Course I've lied and I've cheated, so I guess those last 3 things are the things that's killing softly? What I really don't understand is how to get out of this mess. I envision the person I want to be and the person I should be, but I can't imagine being that person and at least years back I always felt like I could turn it around, but now I just feel like I'm defeated and the more I try to turn it around, the more I get knocked the opposite direction...I'm tired of being broke. Please God What's the Lesson!

Broken Hearted

Well Here I am, There I was, Where am I going!?

I got a letter in the mail the other day notifying me of my 10 year class reunion and honestly, I wasn't that pleased about going, mainly because right now my life consist of abosolutely NOTHING! The only good thing I have going right now is a 11 year old daughter, whom I have to depend on my parents to take care of. So basically what I have going on is kind of like a little sister thing, except for I have to do the parenting. I have no career, no direction, no money, no.....nothing and I can't imagine going into a class reunion with everyone proclaiming to be wonderful. Somehow nowadays I'm finding it dumb hard to muster up even just a little bit of hope. I am full of ideas and solutions that fester by the way side, and that's just where I am now! Festering by the way side and I don't even know which way to go.

While I got the letter a few days ago, I actually looked at it today, and there was a questionair that asked "what are you doing now"? I almost losted it because I couldn't answer that question without lying to myself and countless others, if I really answered all I would find out is that 10 years ago I was better off than I am now! Some Life?

Broken Hearted